Marriage Problems from 2x2 Religion
Cause of Marriage Problems
To list all the causes of marriage problems, I would need to list again all the teachings of the 2x2 cult. But this page is mostly about the effects of the 2x2 religion's doctrines.
The foundation of the marriage is typically bad. Since the 2x2 religion is not based on honesty and the foundation of it is lies from WORKERS, then relationships are not good. Typically it is built on lust. Some marry because of an "unplanned pregnancy" and it is "expected of them" or they are afraid that the woman got pregnant.
Sometimes, the 2x2 lies to the spouse about the true nature of the religion and the spouse is overcome with the lies. When the spouse finds out later, they are often outraged. Deception is a bad foundation for a relationship. Sometimes the spouse will stay in the marriage to try to make things work. More often than not, this is a fatal splitting of the relationship.
The 2x2s are taught from an early age (and often) that they are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. And "unbelievers" are defined as people who don't PROFESS. So when a 2x2 "dates outside", then they have a guilty conscience from the beginning. And when things go wrong in the marriage (and they do) then they feel guilty and attribute this to the fact that they married an OUTSIDER. Typically they will not share these feelings of guilt with their spouse even if they dare to go to counseling. In fact, many 2x2s hide their religion if they do attend counseling, much less the deep,dark teachings of the WORKERS.
But perhaps the most fundamental flaw in the foundation of the marriages is the despising and scorning of marriage by the OVERSEERS which forbid WORKERS to marry. Like it or not, and I've seen it and believed it myself, marriages are considered a weakness. And this belief has no choice but to flow from the preaching of the WORKERS. As a result, singles feel the pressure to become a WORKER (marriage forbidden) and many view it a weakness when they feel compelled to marry. And a result of this is that many men feel like the woman caused them to become weak and not be able to be a WORKER. So some women are despised, and whether or not a man would ever mention such to his wife, I've had some men confide this to me.
Going to MEETINGS
The PROFESSING spouse will of course want to go to MEETINGS on SUNDAY. In the morning for SUNDAY MORNING MEETINGS and evening 2x2 GOSPEL MEETINGS. The nonPROFESSING spouse can either go to MEETINGS or be elsewhere. Every week this issue comes up. It's like a continual dripping. And then comes the issue of where their kids (if they have kids) will go on Sundays.
Disagreement on Children and MEETINGS
A PROFESSING spouse wants their kids to go to MEETINGS. They want their children to PROFESS. A spouse who doesn't believe in the 2x2 religion doesn't want this. This is one of the first issues that is brought up and is often discovered with dating.
WORKERS Staying at House
The Bible teaches that there is a curse on people who welcome those preach a false gospel and bring them into their home.
2Jn 1:9 Whosoever transgresseth, and abideth not in the doctrine of Christ, hath not God. He that abideth in the doctrine of Christ, he hath both the Father and the Son. If there come any unto you, and bring not this doctrine, receive him not into your house, neither bid him God speed: For he that biddeth him God speed is partaker of his evil deeds.
Spouses disagree on whether WORKERS will be allowed to stay in their house. This is often a very heated discussion. But the answer is clear to WORKERS. WORKERS don't like staying in a home where one spouse is PROFESSING and the other not. Too much liability.
As if that alone hasn't been enough, the increased awareness of pedophile WORKERS and OVERSEERS has caused more tension. Because OVERSEERS who knew about CSA by WORKERS and have moved them to another field as part of a coverup and not told people in the new FIELD, parents have additional concern about their children being molested by an OVERSEER or WORKER.
The Bible has tons of verses talking about money and how to handle it. In unequally yoked marriages, there are often money problems. Typically the 2x2 will want the house in their name and not put their spouses name on it. Whether a 2x2 spouse will put their husbands/wifes name on the title of the house and/or the car is a big indicator of their future plans for divorce. And then there are cars etc. Typically a 2x2 husband will not give much consideration for his wife needing to get around especially if they don't have kids.
They may keep a separate bank account so they don't have to be accountable and communicate about where the money went.
Wife Sent to WORK Outside the Home
Often, both spouses of 2x2s work in order to bring in more money. If one spouse tries to follow the Bible, they may be accused of not "doing their part".
Tit 2:4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
WORKERS would rather have a nice home with FRIENDS who make more money. If they don't care for their own "flock", why would they care about the welfare of someone who isn't PROFESSING?
When they as the 2x2 spouse questions, they get vague answers. They aren't told what's going on when their spouse is keeping secrets. The 2x2 spouse is simply copying what the WORKERS do when asked about their doctrine and business practices. The poor communication results in misunderstandings which causes more mistrust.
Spouses have trust issues. Especially when a person marries a 2x2 and finds out later that the 2x2 believes that their spouse is going to hell if they don't come to MEETINGS and PROFESS. How can you trust a spouse who hid that before you got engaged or married? The FRIENDS have different priorities with their money and give money to WORKERS. When a spouse asks about where the money is going, there are already doubts as to whether they are going to be told the truth.
Mistrust Among Families
When families are broken apart on the issue of the 2x2 religion, then families don't trust the PROFESSING families. Inlaws aren't in agreement and holidays are spent alone. 2x2s see the non2x2s as a burden, someone holding them back from a good time. Wives end up suffering the most, trying to "keep the peace" as they say. But really there is no peace to keep.
It is common for one family to not show up at the wedding.
Different Beliefs, Priorities
2x2 spouses want to go to MEETINGS. While a Christian wants to help a charity and their neighbor, the 2x2 will think it's a waste of time. They only believe the WORKERS are the true servants of God and WORKERS decry giving money to charities. They want all the money. This difference in beliefs leads to conflict and disagreements in handling money.
Disagreements, Limited Topics
Because a 2x2 cannot be reasoned with about the 2x2 religion, then their spouses may come to the conclusion that they agree to disagree. And they try to avoid the topic. But the religion pervades every aspect of their marriage. And so, more topics are added to this list of those to be avoided. And there is the sensitivity that a topic is going to be brought up again. And so they communicate about less and less and only stick to shallow topics and not sharing their hearts.
Spouses disagree on how to discipline children. One may want to follow the Bible and the other will not. Typically the male succeeds in getting their way. Sometimes the woman succeeds if the husband tires of her corrosive comments and undermines the father to the children. Either way, it causes problems in the marriage and this affects the children.
Children are punished for disobeying parents. When both parents have different rules, then the children can easily be confused by which set of rules to follow. This causes children to be punished for things they cannot understand. This makes for sad children who are afraid to do much of anything for fear of being punished or degraded.
Differing Rules for Children
Professing parents often don't allow their children to play on teams at school, attend dances, watch TV, watch movies etc and have often twisted scriptures to arrive at their rules. This is confusing for children. Why will mom allow them to watch TV, but not when dad gets home? Why can't they play sports? Why can't they wear modest pants to school? All these conflicts in household rules and with poor reasons causes conflicts with the parents and conflicts with the children. An unhappy family results.
2x2 spouses may be very selfish. Everything is about them. They are always right. The other spouse ends up having to compensate all the time for the "needs" of the PROFESSING spouse. This lack of love is very obvious and hard to overlook. Day after day drags by and weeks turn to years. The marriage suffers and when an opportunity presents itself, a 2x2 may seek a divorce and blame the person who doesn't PROFESS. To them, it is not a marriage blessed by God anyway since the other person doesn't PROFESS. Some claim it's not actually a marriage because "God didn't join us together since we were unequally yoked."
May spouses find their PROFESSING husband or wife to be unreasonable. Of course, they haven't been able to reason that the 2x2 religion is a cult and how could they be reasonable about other things?
Horrible Sex Life
If people think money problems are bad, then consider what happens when their supposed fantastic sex life is like. In marriage, they share more than the bed and money affects them both outside of the bed and in bed. Because of the mistrust, poor communication etc, one or both of them will be disinterested in making love. If they cannot talk about MEETINGS, the cult, their real teachings without being lied to, how are they going to trust them and give their heart in making love. Love turns to "sex". And sex to a duty for one or both of them. And when they think about it being a duty, the other one sense the obligation and decides they aren't interested. A love life starts from the heart and isn't always about a person's body. One PROFESSING man told me that there is nothing so ugly as a beautiful woman who is angry. Even beauty is of no account when things aren't going well in marriage. I've been told that the biggest sign of a horrible love life is when one of them brags about their love life.
When a person believes that their group is superior to others and they have a form to maintain, this makes it nearly impossible for them to get help. They don't want to admit being wrong or having lied. The belief that they are better than others is wrong. Trying to maintain a form made up by the workers is impossible. As a result, they make bad choices and have to live with the results.Posted by Sad on October 16, 2009, 10:31 am, in reply to "Re: Ohio's Southeast Saga"
Jas 3:14 But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.
Eph 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.Questions
Mar 10:6 But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Psa 1:1 Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper. The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away. Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous. For the LORD knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish.
Mat 5:44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?
1Pe 3:9 Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.
Col 3:23 And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ. But he that doeth wrong shall receive for the wrong which he hath done: and there is no respect of persons.
Married - Home|
Come to Meetings
Divorce and Remarry
|To open their eyes, and to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins, and inheritance among them which are sanctified by faith that is in me. - Jesus Christ speaking to Saul, see Act 26:18, see Salvation through Jesus Christ.|