My Painful Admission: I Hated God

Here is my painful, embarrassing admission: I hated God while I was a 2x2.

Let me explain.

Devout 2x2

I was a devout 2x2. I went to meetings since a child. I professed at about 10 or 11 years of age. I always took part in meetings. I was baptized about about 12, 13 or 14. I went into the work at age 18. And I found out that I hated God.

I thought I loved God. But I didn't know God. After I quit going to meetings and learned about the ten commandments of God, I realized I didn't know God. I didn't know what made God happy. I didn't know what pleased God. I didn't know Him. I was really scared.

I didn't know what love was. I was reading a couple days ago about love. And what is love? What is the Biblical definition of love? Here is what I found that helped me realize that I hated God as a 2x2:

Why I Hated God

Joh 14:23 Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him.
Joh 14:24 He that loveth me not keepeth not my sayings: and the word which ye hear is not mine, but the Father's which sent me.

I hated God because I was not keeping his commandments.

Did you know that I never knew what love was? I didn't know that love was the keeping of the commandments of God. I didn't even know what the commandments of God were. How could I keep them? I believed in God (or so I thought), but I didn't understand who Jesus Christ was. If the first commandment was to only worship God (and nobody else), then why were the disciples worshiping Jesus Christ? Wouldn't that be idolatry?

I came to the conclusion that Jesus Christ is God. That explained so much to me. Now the things that Jesus Christ said (that were confusing to me before) suddenly came to make sense. Jesus Christ was not a nice guy. Jesus Christ is good. He is God.

After I found that Jesus Christ is God, and Jesus Christ said to keep his commandments and sayings, then I began to truly love God. I began keeping his commandments. I have faith God loves me and is seeking my best interest. And I want to please God. And I know how to love God now. And I am learning how to love others.

Rom_15:2 Let every one of us please his neighbour for his good to edification.

I found that loving others is not by pleasing them and turning them into spoiled, ignorant, selfish people. It's about loving others as Jesus Christ loves me. Loving others so they are benefited and built up in the LORD. It's not about "making them happy" (I can never do that), it is about treating them as Jesus Christ treats me. I have so much to learn.

Brad Lewis - Home


My Beliefs

Letter of Apology

When I Professed

I believed as 2x2

My 2x2 Baptism

Why I Left

Painful Admission


Mistakes I Made

Girls and Dating

How I Got Out

Memoirs 1 B&R

Memoirs 2 Offering

Memoirs 3

Memoirs 3 - After Work

Memoirs 4

More Memories

Worker Life

Cannot Go Back

Confessions Exworker

First Year

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To open their eyes, and to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins, and inheritance among them which are sanctified by faith that is in me. - Jesus Christ speaking to Saul, see Act 26:18, see Salvation through Jesus Christ.
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