Feelings I Experienced
Here are some feelings that I experienced when exiting the 2x2 religion.
Afraid - Afraid that I might be wrong and not really understanding the Bible. I had been through a partial exit before and didn't want a repeat. Once I put more faith in the Bible as the word of God then I became more bold in conversation with the workers. When they could not answer my questions and they did not support what Jesus Christ taught, then I became less afraid of them and more confident in God.
Bewildered - So many, many things I had been led to believe about the workers was not true. When some of the very basic beliefs that I had were challenged and were not based on truth, then it left me bewildered and confused. If those basic things I believed were not true, then what about all the other things I had learned? How wrong had I been about them? What other lies did I believe? The amount of thoughts that poured through my mind left me tired. Again and again I came back to this thought that gave me great comfort, "The Bible is God's word." - meaning that the Bible is the very voice of God and that I could believe the Bible just the same as if God stood in front of me and spoke the same words.
Mistrust - when I started reading Bible and seeing that workers didn't follow Bible. I didn't trust what they said without checking it out. My "social" world was turned upside down. I no longer believed the workers who used meetings to advance their agenda and undermine people who were seeking help. Because the elders didn't follow the Bible and were supporting the workers, I no longer trusted them as being the "good, caring" people they claimed to be. With the workers and elders in mistrust, I no longer had the same warm, fuzzy feelings about Sunday morning meetings and "gospel" meetings. My trust in the workers and their system continued to diminish and my trust in the Bible increased. I thank God that I had the Bible to hold on to as the religion I was raised in was being pulled away from me. God was answering years of prayers in a way that I didn't understand at the time.
Boldness - I began to speak with boldness regarding the things I had learned in the Bible. I began to be confident in the things taught in the Bible and the few things that I believed I understood. I kept increasing in boldness in conversations as I saw the workers didn't have answers or counsel better than the Bible.
Upset - I was upset at the way I was being treated. I had started to learn about how I should be treated and saw that I was accustomed to bad behaviour and was no longer going to accept it. I started speaking up and confronting abusive workers, elders and "the friends".
Used - I felt used by the workers when I saw that for all these years they were just using me to further their pyramid scheme business and to feed all their egos. The Lord will rebuke and reward them for their evil deeds.
Disgust - When I saw the hypocrisy of the workers and their behavior during the meetings compared to outside the meetings, my blinders came off. I began to see the workers for who they were. At one meeting, I saw them as a group of uncaring, ignorant people with bitter feelings against God and idolatry for the workers who were using them. They were blind as I had been.
Frustrated - I was frustrated when trying to talk with the workers. They had short quips and phrases that I knew were evil and wrong but I was so used to them (and used to use them myself) that I didn't know how to respond. My mind was used to the rut of the 2x2 way thinking. I wanted to show them how wrong they were but I didn't know how they were wrong yet. After quitting the meetings, my lingering 2x2 beliefs began to fade and were replaced with real understanding from regular Bible reading.
Now I can quickly show the workers and many "Christians" their error and point them to scripture easily. My feelings towards others have changed and I am able to be more gentle as God increases my strength. I have found that the 2x2 religion is more base and brutish than many so-called "Christian" cults and easier to show their error, whether they accept it or not.
These are a few of the feelings that I experienced when leaving the 2x2 cult and how God took my feelings and changed them as He showed me more of himself and continues to help me understand more.
Brad Lewis - Home|
Letter of Apology
When I Professed
I believed as 2x2
My 2x2 Baptism
Why I Left
Mistakes I Made
Girls and Dating
How I Got Out
Memoirs 1 B&R
Memoirs 2 Offering
Memoirs 3 - After Work
Cannot Go Back
|To open their eyes, and to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins, and inheritance among them which are sanctified by faith that is in me. - Jesus Christ speaking to Saul, see Act 26:18, see Salvation through Jesus Christ.|